Favorite pictures

Katarina and Me. I'm such a sucker for brown eyes!

Kat, on any given day. Dress up is her favorite activity.

Molly lighting a candle for Emily's 4th ~Angel Day~

My Sweet Emily Hope

August 25th 2003

Ronda, Spain

I did LOTS of hiking and rock climbing in this gorge, which is over a mile deep! The bridge is over 1,000 years old and you can hike underneath it to better view the waterfalls on the other side. It's amazing! My soul just loves this village.

New Tricks

Yesterday was a day of much anticipation for me. I was told by Molly yesterday morning, she had a new trick to show me when I got off work. Kate also had a trick for me and I was instructed to meet them at a neighbor's house, where there is a 4 ft swimming pool. Upon arrival, I found both of my daughters flipping around like little dolphins as if they had been swimming like this their whole lives. I should note, Molly has been deathly afraid of water her whole life and was actually a polliwog swim class drop out at the age of 3! She refused to "bob" under water and could not be promoted to the next class until she did. Rather than force the issue we decided to "take a break" for a while. I learned yesterday, Molly has not only learned how to BOB but she can also do the backstroke! She was VERY confident in the water, and I was absolutely elated for her. My Mother has taught her this trick in only three days! Kate (sweet little Kate) has NO FEAR and just goes right in. She is learning the crawl stroke, and was as cute as can be splashing around like a little minnow. She was also very proud of herself, which I find just delightful.

Creativity at it's best...

Yesterday, when I went to pick up my little gems from their grandmother's home, I was greeted at the door with the most amazing gift! Molly and Kat had spent the day being incredibly creative - making the most beautiful flower pot cakes. That's right..... these are CAKES! My girls were so proud of their creations, and rightfully so.... they're awesome! They even had little gummy worms in the "dirt"! How creative is THAT?!?!? Thank goodness my little sweethearts are learning the valuable skill I never learned.... how to cook!

Molly has become quite the little chef in the kitchen these days, and is actually more of a help than I am comfortable admitting. She even owns her own cookbook, which she bought from the school library this year. I believe she checked it out during the first week of school and then spent the entire year renewing it - because she was copying down each recipe by hand! During the last week of school, the librarian advised her she either had to bring the book back or pay $10.00 to keep it. It was $10.00 well spent!!! I may learn a thing or two from this book myself.... you never can tell!

Molly in pictures.....

The perfect smile
LOVING her birthday present
At Castaway Bay... we still LOVE santa!!!
4th of July "Water shooter" fight!

She got me GOOD!!!

COSI is something every kid should experience!

Kate in pictures...

Kate smiles from a seat in a C-130

Catching Tadpoles at Kingwood Center

Kate, in rare form

Nope, I'm NOT smiling!!!

Seriously Mom.... I'm so NOT smiling for your picture!!!

My FIRST update!!!!

I just love being able to share these photos..... The top photo is DARWIN. He is our Sulcatta tortoise, and is a direct descendant of the Galapagos tortoise. Kate and Molly do enjoy decorating his shell, and he never seems bothered by the activity. We have had him since 2000, and my Grandmother dearly loved watching him toddle around in an aquarium. He was roughly the size of a ping pong ball when I got him for Molly as a gift for excellent behavior at the doctors office; and Darwin has grown to be about 8 lbs now and 12 inches from top to bottom of his shell. He's like the family dog, only a bit slower - but with JUST as much personality! When he is full grown (in 20 years) we are planning to ride him around the yard. Anyone who would like to be added to the waiting list now may submit their names to me.

The picture of Molly and me was taken a few months ago, and it is one of my favorites. This is Molly's AMAZING smile I was bragging about in my previous post. I mention Molly's smile so often these days because she has an appointment with the orthodontist in one week for a consult on "stage 1" of her orthodontic work. Molly will undoubtedly have a $20,000 smile by the time this is all said and done - and while I can't help but be glad for her, I will say I have grown quite attached to the "crooked little smile" she currently has. Anyone who remembers Molly as an infant will recall she was born with a very prominent "cow-lick" in the middle of her forehead, and a blue vein across the bridge of her nose. The thing Molly loves most about this particular photo is you can easily see both of them. Molly will tell you that her two favorite features about herself are her cowlick and her vein. She says they make her special and no one else in her school looks like her. I love it! Those are also two of my favorite features on Molly.... but anyone who knows me, knows I am a sucker for big brown eyes - and BOTH of my girls have them! How awesome is that???

We have a trip to Niagara falls planned for this weekend, and I have to say I am wildly excited about the awesome experience we will undoubtedly have! We vacation there at least twice a summer, and last summer we took Molly's friend 'A' with us, as our birthday gift to her. "A" will be returning with us this year, and Molly is elated about that! (As am I.... she is just an awesome, awesome kid!) New to our agenda this year: I will be bringing one of my girlfriends with me (YAY) who has triplet girls almost exactly Kate's age! Yep... we're heading to Canada with 6 kids...four "preschoolers" and two "Tweens". In preparation for this trip, I purchased six rubber ducks (as is tradition) to "swim over the falls" as Kate likes to say. Quite unsuspectingly, I heard the water running a few evenings ago and almost simultaneously realized Kate was missing. I followed the sound and when I walked into the kitchen, found Kate standing on her stool, leaning over the sink and saying "Come on, you can do it!" very emphatically. Kate was teaching the ducks how to swim. She decided they needed to practice for the falls.... after all, it IS a bunch of water! ..... That's my girl!!!!!

Getting started

Greetings friends and family. Since I so greatly enjoy reading the blogs of my friends and relatives who live far away, I thought I would start my own blog to keep everyone posted on what's going on in our lives.... not that our lives are terribly exciting, but you never know. Something AMAZING may happen, and now I have a method of notifying everyone at once, since I am notoriously terrible at keeping up with Emails! I have titled this blog "Living with HOPE" because that has become the theme for our lives over the course of the last five years.

As you all know, I have been blessed with three beautiful daughters who have impacted my life in ways I can not begin to describe. Molly (who will be 9 next month) is kind, generous and is probably the most empathetic person I have ever known. She has a precious smile and is a light in the life of anyone who has the privilege of knowing her. She is the most popular kid around and whenever I take her out undoubtedly some child her age will break free from their parent to come running to Molly. What happens next is never a surprise.... it's always an embrace that would knock to the floor any unsuspecting person, followed by Molly's greeting ..... "I'm SO happy to see you!!!!" That's my Molly - or as she likes to be called "Molly-Pop" !!!

Kathryn (who will be turning 4 just two days before Molly's birthday next month) goes by many names: "Katie" "Katarina" "Kate or Kat" and "Turkey Lurkey". She is absolutely a joy to be around, and is a fireball of energy. Kate has the richest sense of humor I have ever known and she makes the funniest faces! She especially loves to throw people off guard by calling them the wrong name. For example, I am Most often "Mama" but occasionally she'll call me "popcorn". She has been known to call Molly "Darwin" and anyone in her path may be called "Elsa" (who is the girls dog at their father's house." Kate is especially fond of calling people "Sir" (if they're a girl) or "Ma'am" (if they're a boy). Kate, is probably one of the most authentic people I have ever known, and people learn very quickly to take her as she is. When you do this, you begin to see the true beauty of her personality.

Emily remains my inspiration in this world, and has been a tremendous source of strength and HOPE in my life. Sweet Emily was born on August 25Th 2003, and had she lived, she would have turned 5 in only a few weeks. Emily earned her wings just five days after her birth, because of a congenital heart defect which went undetected during my pregnancy. Her loss was devastating. However, as I began to heal, reflecting on Emily's brief life enabled me to rediscover the HOPE I had lost.... and that has made all the difference. So it is fitting that HOPE is also my ~Emily's~ middle name. I just love the word "Hope".... it is such a quiet and unassuming word. It asks nothing of you, like Faith or Love; and I had never really thought about the importance of HOPE until Emily came into my life. Now, not a day passes that I don't think about it. That is just one of the many, many blessings I have discovered because Emily's life touched mine....

As for Me, not much has changed over the last several years since my divorce. This blog will NOT become a commentary on my social-love life, but to appease the curiosity of some, this is where I stand on the whole dating-marriage issue. Many people have asked if I am currently seeing someone, and whether or not I will ever get remarried. I'm not going to be so bold as to say "No, Not ever" because as some of you may recall, I was actually engaged for four weeks last summer. (Yep - Four WHOLE weeks.) I will say "I do not see it in my future" (marriage, that is) ... at least not in the next several years. The reality is, I truly enjoy having my independence and spending my time with my girls. I once read "IT TAKES AN AMAZING MAN TO BE BETTER THAN NO MAN AT ALL!".... I chuckle in agreement with the truth of that statement. *For those reading this who have already found the love of their lives, I applaud you and hope you are not offended by my cynicism.


With that said...I am still working 2 jobs (just one of the MANY joys of single parenting) but am blessed with jobs I enjoy. I am a Bereavement Coordinator for a non-profit Hospice, and am also an NCO in the National Guard. In my "free time" (and by that, I mean when my girls are with their Dad) I Volunteer for the pediatric palliative care team at a local Children's Hospital. This is especially meaningful, as we used Palliative care during Emily's 5 days with us. I am honored to be able to give back to this team in some small way. Other than that, I REALLY enjoy going to the rifle range on Tuesday evenings (Otherwise known as "Tactical Tuesdays") where I shoot my Kel Tec 380. I most enjoy shooting a CZ97B .45 cal and a CZ SP01 9mm handgun. I have also developed an affection for a 44 Magnum Revolver, which is like a canon in my hands! Now that's a good time! Shooting is a "useful hobby" for me and is also wonderful source of stress relief! Anyone who has never gone out to a rifle range should absolutely do so, and I will be glad to accompany you!