Getting started

Greetings friends and family. Since I so greatly enjoy reading the blogs of my friends and relatives who live far away, I thought I would start my own blog to keep everyone posted on what's going on in our lives.... not that our lives are terribly exciting, but you never know. Something AMAZING may happen, and now I have a method of notifying everyone at once, since I am notoriously terrible at keeping up with Emails! I have titled this blog "Living with HOPE" because that has become the theme for our lives over the course of the last five years.

As you all know, I have been blessed with three beautiful daughters who have impacted my life in ways I can not begin to describe. Molly (who will be 9 next month) is kind, generous and is probably the most empathetic person I have ever known. She has a precious smile and is a light in the life of anyone who has the privilege of knowing her. She is the most popular kid around and whenever I take her out undoubtedly some child her age will break free from their parent to come running to Molly. What happens next is never a surprise.... it's always an embrace that would knock to the floor any unsuspecting person, followed by Molly's greeting ..... "I'm SO happy to see you!!!!" That's my Molly - or as she likes to be called "Molly-Pop" !!!

Kathryn (who will be turning 4 just two days before Molly's birthday next month) goes by many names: "Katie" "Katarina" "Kate or Kat" and "Turkey Lurkey". She is absolutely a joy to be around, and is a fireball of energy. Kate has the richest sense of humor I have ever known and she makes the funniest faces! She especially loves to throw people off guard by calling them the wrong name. For example, I am Most often "Mama" but occasionally she'll call me "popcorn". She has been known to call Molly "Darwin" and anyone in her path may be called "Elsa" (who is the girls dog at their father's house." Kate is especially fond of calling people "Sir" (if they're a girl) or "Ma'am" (if they're a boy). Kate, is probably one of the most authentic people I have ever known, and people learn very quickly to take her as she is. When you do this, you begin to see the true beauty of her personality.

Emily remains my inspiration in this world, and has been a tremendous source of strength and HOPE in my life. Sweet Emily was born on August 25Th 2003, and had she lived, she would have turned 5 in only a few weeks. Emily earned her wings just five days after her birth, because of a congenital heart defect which went undetected during my pregnancy. Her loss was devastating. However, as I began to heal, reflecting on Emily's brief life enabled me to rediscover the HOPE I had lost.... and that has made all the difference. So it is fitting that HOPE is also my ~Emily's~ middle name. I just love the word "Hope".... it is such a quiet and unassuming word. It asks nothing of you, like Faith or Love; and I had never really thought about the importance of HOPE until Emily came into my life. Now, not a day passes that I don't think about it. That is just one of the many, many blessings I have discovered because Emily's life touched mine....

As for Me, not much has changed over the last several years since my divorce. This blog will NOT become a commentary on my social-love life, but to appease the curiosity of some, this is where I stand on the whole dating-marriage issue. Many people have asked if I am currently seeing someone, and whether or not I will ever get remarried. I'm not going to be so bold as to say "No, Not ever" because as some of you may recall, I was actually engaged for four weeks last summer. (Yep - Four WHOLE weeks.) I will say "I do not see it in my future" (marriage, that is) ... at least not in the next several years. The reality is, I truly enjoy having my independence and spending my time with my girls. I once read "IT TAKES AN AMAZING MAN TO BE BETTER THAN NO MAN AT ALL!".... I chuckle in agreement with the truth of that statement. *For those reading this who have already found the love of their lives, I applaud you and hope you are not offended by my cynicism.


With that said...I am still working 2 jobs (just one of the MANY joys of single parenting) but am blessed with jobs I enjoy. I am a Bereavement Coordinator for a non-profit Hospice, and am also an NCO in the National Guard. In my "free time" (and by that, I mean when my girls are with their Dad) I Volunteer for the pediatric palliative care team at a local Children's Hospital. This is especially meaningful, as we used Palliative care during Emily's 5 days with us. I am honored to be able to give back to this team in some small way. Other than that, I REALLY enjoy going to the rifle range on Tuesday evenings (Otherwise known as "Tactical Tuesdays") where I shoot my Kel Tec 380. I most enjoy shooting a CZ97B .45 cal and a CZ SP01 9mm handgun. I have also developed an affection for a 44 Magnum Revolver, which is like a canon in my hands! Now that's a good time! Shooting is a "useful hobby" for me and is also wonderful source of stress relief! Anyone who has never gone out to a rifle range should absolutely do so, and I will be glad to accompany you!