A Ham Sandwich and a Ring Pop

I should tell you about My Love. He's Amazing... He's wonderful... and He's 500 miles away at all times. Welcome to a "Military marriage"... where you're together, but not really.

Mike and I first met on a very hot and smelly day back in September 2005. Hurricane Katrina had just devastated the gulf coast and I was one of a thousand people stationed about 10 miles south-west of New Orleans, providing direct support to the people in the area. I was stationed at Belle Chasse and Mike (who was getting ready to go overseas for about the 100Th time for the war effort) stopped at my base in Louisiana to deliver supplies. It just so happened that we met each other as we were loadiing his plane (The Hanoi Taxi) which carried POWS out of Vietnam. Apparently, he had inquired with a fellow co-worker about asking me out on a date at the time, but was told "Oh you DON'T want anything to do with her - She's a man-hater!" *It should be noted that my divorce had been final for about a week at that time. Mike did NOT ask me out. No phone numbers were exchanged... He left New Orleans, went off to fight the war (again) and the story ended there... for a while.

The following year, my "Load master friend" decided to transfer from the Air Force Reserves at Wright Patterson AFB to the 164Th Airlift Squadron, at Mansfield. I was in and out of Mansfield at the time, going overseas on a couple of my own "Operation Enduring Freedom" tours when I started noticing Mike around the base. He looked familiar but honestly, I had seen so many "Fly Boys" when I was loading planes, I didn't make the New Orleans connection at the time. I just knew I liked him. For the next few years we were friendly to each other, loading many planes together and each moving forward with our own seperate lives. I left the Aerial Port and transferred to Finance for job security and stability for my children... Mike continued on Active Duty orders and went to a base near St Louis. We didn't see each other at all for a loooong while.

THEN it happened:

Mike called his friend (my co-worker) to ask a question about his travel voucher, and I happened to answer the phone. I hadn't talked to Mike in ages and so I had to ask about his "herd of Mustangs" (the Ford kind) and his "Flock of Foci" (The plural of the Ford Focus) since Mike is a collector of SVT Ford Vehicles. Our conversations were so comfortable it was almost surreal... it was like "coming home."

So where does the "Ham Sandwich" come in?

Several months after the emails and phone calls began, Mike let me know he was coming back to Mansfield for a week or so, to fly with our unit. He asked if I wanted to get together for lunch and of course, I did. Rather than waste time going off base, we decided to bring a lunch on Thursday and quietly sneak out of the office for an hour so we could visit in person. Instead of eating my ALL TIME FAVORITE: free Donatos pizza with my office that day, I got together with "Hartberger" and had a Ham Sandwich. My secret was out... everyone knew I *MUST* be into this guy to pass on pizza for a ham sandwich. The next evening we met at Texas Road House for dinner. Somewhere in between the passing of the rolls and the serving of the meal, I knew this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I called my friend Jeni after the date and left the voice mail "I just had dinner with the man I'm going to marry, so give me a call and I'll tell you about him!" The next day Mike and I took the girls to COSI, our local hands-on Science Center. It felt like family. Two weeks later we were engaged and two months later, we got married on his 38Th birthday.

I love this man with a depth of emotion I didn't know I could feel. I love his sincerity. He is profoundly authentic and whatever he says, he means. After 20 years in the Air Force and more missions in combat zones than I can count, Mike has seen things in this world that I can't even imagine; and yet maintains a quiet strength I find myself in awe of. (He's my hero.) Mike proposed on his knees with a cherry ring pop in hand... (I love that he uses his available resources to achieve his goals.) Following the wonderfully sweet and romantic proposal, he confessed that he also had a grape ring pop - in case I didn't like cherry. (I love that he always has a contingency plan.)

My love is still on duty in St Louis and will be for several more months... we hope to actually live together next summer for a few months, but as with any military marriage - we are accustomed to spending time apart. We make the drive between cities as often as possible, but this will probably be our lives for the next few years. We knew this going into the relationship - and it's ok. It gives us time to adjust to married life, which is especially good for him since was not "previously married" like I had been.

I could write about my love for hours, and the ways he fits so perfectly into our family...but in the interest of time, I will end for this evening. I look forward to sharing our "family adventures" with each of you, as the four of us grow together...

The letter "S"

I am a huge fan of the letter "S". It's a fun letter to write and a few of my favorite words begin with this letter. "Sleep"..."Sweet Snacks"... "Slushie" ..."Sun shine"and "Sight Seeing." However, one reference I was NOT a fan of was the description of Molly's scoliosis by her Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon as he looked at her x-rays and stated "Your daughters spine is shaped like an S."

Those words were first spoken to me on Molly's 4th birthday, nearly one week to the day before our sweet ~Emily Hope~ was born. Molly was diagnosed with Scoliosis at a very young age and while we have been following up with Dr Schrader at Akron Childrens Hospital for over seven years now, her scoliosis had seemed to be a relatively insignificant factor in our lives - that was, until June.

Molly's semi-annual checkup was due and it was (quite honestly) a great opportunity for the two of us to spend a peaceful day together and take a little road trip to Akron. I loathe going to Akron... I must mentally prepare myself for the trip, as the drive fills me with a dread you can not imagine. No matter how hard I try, I inevitably recall the painfully long ride home from Akron on the evening of August 30th 2003 *without* my newborn daughter Emily. In spite of that, I take comfort in what I know will be the wonderful words I simply love to hear, when Dr. Schrader always says "Molly looks great - no change. We don't even need X-rays... we'll see you in 6 months!" Those words make the trip worthwhile...THOSE words give me the strength to make the next drive. However, in June, I did not hear those words. Instead I heard "Oh My... Molly, are you standing perfectly straight?... We will need an X-ray right away." They were followed by a very concerned surgeon walking back into our room with an obviously disfigured spine on the x-ray film and saying "I have never seen this in my 26 years of practicing medicine... she went from 17 to a 23 degree curvature of her spine in 6 months." The words that followed were some what jumbled, but I recall hearing him say "back brace...Catastrophic... surgery....." I know there were other phrases spoken after "Catastrophic" and "Surgery" but I couldn't tell you what they were. My heart stopped and I immediately had visions of another one of my precious daughters, strugling to regain quality of life at Akron Childrens Hospital. This was one of my darkest days in several years.

For four months, Molly has faithfully been wearing a back brace for 8-10 hours a day. She mostly wears it at night because she can't really stand or sit with it on. It holds her back at a negative 28 degree angle, so as to straighten out her "S" shaped spine. The best description I can give of this device is that it liike like a midevil torture instrument. Quite honeslty, Molly nearly drags her right arm on the ground if she tries to wear it and walk. I feel just awful for her as I see her struggle with this brace, lugging it around and asking of she REALLY has to wear it during her sleepover in front of her friends. I'm "that mom"... you know, the responsible one who always says "Yes... and your head gear too."

Today, the torture paid off. Molly went to see Dr. Schrader again this morning and received excellent news. Once again, her spine has not changed. While it is still a 23 degree curve, it WILL change with the -28 degree correction. He said he feels that we have accomplished what we need to, to ward off surgery. THAT is the biggest hurdle. Molls will continue to wear her nasty brace every day... adjustments will be made.... she MAY even end up wearing it during the day sometimes; but it appears we have magaged to avoid the part where we have to place a rod in her spine and that is all that matters.

...We are ALL in a profoundly good mood today.