Katie's 4th Birthday....

August 17th 2004 was one of the most amazing days of my life. It was the day my 3rd daughter was born, and because I was under general anesthesia when Molly and Emily were born, it was also the only time I ever heard my baby's first cry. Even four years later, I get choked up thinking about that moment. Kate was due on August 25th 2004, but as it was to be my Emily's 1st birthday (and knowing the mixed emotions we would undoubtedly have) we felt Kate - being her own special person - deserved her own special day! We could not have been more accurate! I planned a repeat c-section for 9:00am on August 17th 2004, avoiding also Molly's birthday on August 19th. It goes without saying the birth of any child is a miracle, but to finally bring home a healthy baby following two consecutive losses was beyond a miracle for me. The picture above was taken almost at the exact moment they put Kate into my arms for the first time, and I think we spent the next hour crying together! --- I was crying for joy, but I'm still not she what she was crying about! I am thankful beyond explanation for my healthy daughter, and never do I take one moment of her life for granted. Happy Birthday to my "Rainbow Baby" Katie. THANK YOU for coming into my life, and helping in so many ways to heal my heart. You bring me joy beyond explanation, and my life is richer because of every moment spent with you.

A Different Child

People notice there's a special glow around you.
You grow surrounded by love, never doubting you are wanted…
Only look at the pride and joy in your Mother’s eyes.

And if sometimes between her smiles there’s a trace of tears,

One day you will understand.
You will understand there was once another child, a different child
who was in her hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow her baby clothes.

That child will never keep her up at night.

In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all -

Except sometimes, in a silent moment

when that mother misses so much, her different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly,

and may you learn the lessons forever

of how infinitely precious, and how infinitely fragile

is this life on earth.

One day, as a young woman you may see another mother's tears.

Then you, and you alone will understand

and offer her the greatest comfort…
When all hope seems lost, you will tell her with great compassion

"I understand how you must feel-

I am only here because my mother had the courage
to try again."